just for a laugh...

...In the years I've had a shop I have accumulated some funny stories and have heard some hilarious and unbelieveable tales...I thought I'd share some of them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady came up to the counter with a hodge podge of things in her hands. My son collects so many things she said.,as she put on the counter a box of old superman cards, a canning jar filled with marbles, two Hulk comic books and a railroad spike. I smiled at her and said,"Don't discourage him...I have read that it is a sign of intelligence when people collect things." An older man was off to the side of the counter looking in a case of old tools and pocket knives. He had overheard what I said, he looked over at us and exclaimed, " Then I must be darn near a genius!"


````````` Jack Davis was a dealer in my shop. I met him when he and I were dealers in the Heirloom Cupboard together. He was retired and collected and sold Heisy Glassware. Anyway! Jack had a daughter that lived in Florida. Every year he and his wife, Joyce, went down to visit her. Every year they took a detour off the interstate to stop at the same old antique shop up the side of a mountain in Virginia. Every year they would look at an old oak ice chest on the side porch ...haggle over the price, and tell the owner, we really should buy this. Maybe the next time we drive through we will. Ten years go by. The shop is still the same, the oak ice chest is still on the side porch. Eleven years now. they stop in as usual...look at the chest. Get in the van, start driving...Jack tells Joyce, when we come back through here on our way home from Florida we will swing in and get the chest! Joyce is thrilled. Two weeks later they pull into the driveway of the antique shop, almost colliding with an old pickup truck pulling out, that is how in a hurry they were. Jack and Joyce go into the shop, walk up to the counter and tell the owner, " We are done haggling we are taking the oak ice chest! The owner looks at the two of them in disbelief! Jack then peeled off 6 crisp 20 dollar bills onto the counter. Joyce stood next to him smiling from ear to ear. The old guy looks at him and said, " Did you see that old truck leaving here just now? Well....he just loaded up your ice chest! After 11 years of going to buy that oak ice chest... Jack missed out on having it by just a few minutes!


``````````` Jack Davis was a grumpy old man. He was retired from Firestone, in Akron, after a career as an engineer. He was very particular and a bit anal. He was crabby and set in his ways. He didn't care if it made sense to others, he had his ways and that was that.... and that is why I loved him.
One day I got a call at home. I had the day off because it was Thursday...and Jack worked every Thursday at the Depot.
I got many calls when Jack worked. The cash register hated him , so he said. I was forever trying to figure what he did to it to mess it up as bad as he did. My paperwork was a nightmare on Thursday's.... Oh and nothing was ever in the right place from the last Thursday when he worked. "Why do people have to constantly hide thing from me!" He used to say. So sometimes I wondered why I let him work because I was always on the phone with him. But I did because he was the best story teller ever. When the shop was slow and Jack would get bored, he would call and say ,"Shirley, do you have time for a story?" I always did. He took his time telling a story and embroidered it with many details. He was one of the smartest men I have known. His stories were an education, with a twist.. Jack style. I only wish I had written them all down.
Anyway, I am filling you in about Jack because many of the future stories in this section are about Jack ...he was hilarious and never knew it ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

So it was Thursday...the phone rings, Jack says," This is Jack at the shop. Shirley, I might be calling the police!"
I say, "Why Jack??"
Jack says, "A very supicious character just walked in the shop... you know the kind, he has long hair in a pony tail. He rode in on a motorcycle. He has tatoos of a questionable nature on both arms. He is wearing a bandana. Oh, a surly looking person for sure. I don't trust him and I will keep my eye on him! Shirley, don't worry, when he steals something I will catch him!!" Jack hangs up.
I wait. A few minutes pass. The phone rings.... Jack says, "Shirley, this is Jack at the shop.
I say, What's happened!!"
Jack says, "I think my first call was a false alarm....I think we can trust him, I just sneezed, and this nice young man said, Bless you!
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